Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Dating

People should first read- http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/ and http://wheelercentre.com/videos/video/christian-lander/ a satirical look at what white people like, and everything we think we do that makes us unique, but what makes us exactly the same as everyone else. I also recommend girls read that website before they hate me forever.

What I know About Women – Dating.

This goes out to all the girls who have tested me, thought my book smarts were intimidating or boring; thought I was gay because I never hit on them, have giving me STD’s, thought I was shy, didn’t relate to their feelings, and those who have gone onto bigger and better things without me.

All of my girlfriends have been typical white girls, even the Asian ones. One of my first girlfriends was really posh. Her dad was director of a large law firm and was always away on business trips in far flung places. She was a European White girl and wore clothes that she thought were unique, attention-grabbing and authentic. She also collected vinyl records and was a pretend vegan and would ask me if honey should be eaten by vegans or not.

My Asian girlfriend was really white. She had the least tolerance for conservatives, drank purified water distilled from the mountains of the Swiss Alps, was really snobby, was obsessed with organic food and rode a fixed gear bike (the biggest killer of hipsters in the world). I think she thought she was being unique.

“‘White’ is more about class than anything else. You don’t have to be ‘White’. You just have to be rich (rich enough to be able to fulfill as many things on the list on the website).  The white girl is very liberal, but only really open minded to the point of trying new ethnic cuisines. Oh, and she’s very open-minded to hearing progressive ideas she already agrees with. They all have English degrees in one way or another. And if they don’t, they read a lot. The white girl is very well-read. The majority of them are foodies. If you want her to consider you husband material, giver her the impression you’ll be happy to eat with her a lot. It’s expensive and exhausting being a white woman. She needs accessories like Moleskin notebooks and stylish, environmentally friendly transportation. She also needs time for the latest foreign-military fitness regime (including Zumba). In addition to the yoga, the reading, the watching of independent films and critically acclaimed TV series. Natalie Portman is the embodiment of the white girl. As is Zooey Deschanel. Susan Serandon is the perfect example of the white girl in her later years. She maintains both her self-righteousness and also good skin.”

It is my humble experience to suggest that Australian women, in general, are picky. But I have only reached this after first hand experience being overseas and reading forums and educated articles. But I don’t know how much an advantage an accent is overseas - again from experience, a lot. What I did think was funny and didn’t really surprise me, was this piece, “Women are far more choosy about casual sex than men, who do not specially care whether a woman is moderately or exceptionally attractive as long as she hops into bed, new research says,” at http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/08/13/2654188.htm . It even rates how picky some countries are.

“The white women’s best quality – at least from my perspective – is her ability to eliminate men from being feasibly dateable. Her standards are incredible. Most of these standards aren’t related to physical attractiveness, because she knows that beauty fades or can be fixed. Most of her criteria relate to awesomely snobby things. She’ll be dating a guy for a while and she’ll say, ‘Pushkin”, and he’ll say, ‘Who is that?” Bam! Relationship over. I appreciate this quality, more than any other because it’s allowed me to date many women. Unfortunately, this choosiness is also the white women’s worst quality. Because her standards are so sky high – as they should be – there is an outrageous amount of men who can’t live up to them. So she inevitably goes through a very difficult time before she finds her match.”

The quotes are from Christian Lander - from What I know about Women, SMH and author of the above website.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Danger Will Robinson


So over the last week there has been a death from a shark and a crocodile in Australia. The guy who died from the shark attack was an abalone diver and the guy who got killed by a crocodile lived in a Northern remote community. Both areas were renowned for having these predators. It also got me thinking would I avoid doing certain things or going to certain places because of dangers posed? While tourists shouldn’t be dismayed in coming here it is pertinent to be aware of dangers. Some tourists maybe knowledgeable that certain areas of Aus contain certain animals that you wouldn’t have around for dinner. As you would in turn become the dinner. Yet the same tourists may not be aware that there are reasons why you should swim between the flags at beaches.  Swimming outside of the flags could land you in the same position as trying to remove a snake from a walking path with your hands- dead. There are places on Australian beaches which are well known for sucking backpackers out to sea. Luckily we also have lifeguards to save you, although they would wish you had read the signs. Yes I know some signs are only in English but generally there are picture signs on the main beaches.
'In the 2009-2010 season, the overall number of coastal drowning deaths in Australia dropped to 82, from a five-year average of 88, said the report by Australia’s lifeguard organization. Twenty-six of those were tourists and migrants, compared to nine in 2006'. In overall drownings In 2004 197 people drowned in Australia compared to 492 in Canada in 2005.* 
It would be like me going to Iraq for a holiday; most people know parts of Northern Iraq are perfectly fine. In fact there is a burgeoning tourism industry; such is the scenery, as exemplified on Top Gear. Yet, if there were signs saying going south of here could pose detrimental risks to your brain or heart, I would think twice before going any further.  It would be like me not going to Yellowstone National Park because there are bears there more aggressive than Winnie the Pooh. I would still go there, but if there was a sign saying hungry lunatic bear has been scene further down the path, I would probably turn around or at least put a family a friend member in front of me.